The Golden Years Continued...

I'm sad to say that the 74 year old man I spoke of in my first blog recently passed away. Although I am happy for him--his wish to be taken from this earth has been granted-- I was awakened by the response to his death by his son. And since it has been a couple weeks and I am still intrigued by it, I thought this story may be worth sharing. I received a voicemail from a social worker at the hospice house; she stated that the patients son was in immediate need of support because the patient had died. I listened to the message again to make sure I had the details right and then decided I better phone her to confirm that we were thinking about the same family. Indeed we were. We discussed the patients history and the detail of his life that he had shared with both of us. We both remembered the patient sharing how awful his relationship was with son as well as the rest of his family. However it had seemed that the patient had this all wrong. His perception of his relationship was so conditioned and based on thoughts from the past that he was unable to see the love his son had for him now, in the present. The social worker informed me that moments after the patient returned to the hospice house (he had been discharged after my first post) he became unresponsive. He had transitioned into the dying process and who was by his side to provide love and comfort for his final days--his son. The one the patient referred to as a bum, the one the patient stated didn't like him, the one the patient believed did not care for him. We learned from the son that although there relationship wasn't perfect it was nowhere near as damaged as the patient portrayed. Fortunately, the son wrote his father a letter and read it to him just hours before he died. The patients son placed his hand on his unresponsive fathers arm and read to him a final goodbye expressing how much he loved him. The patient managed to give a weak smile and raise his eyebrows and this the son took as an expression of love too. And although we were unable to hear the patients side to this lighter news the sons actions truly proved his love for his father. From this I have learned, be open, be honest, and be real. Sometimes the way we see things is not really the way things are and so much of that stems from our thought processes and being conditioned to beliefs we make based on past situations. Keep in mind, you are not your thoughts and your thoughts are not you.